home for the holidays. a bit of rain. much warmer than poland. the airport took all my liquids so gotta find some more. trying to clear my head. hope it works.

Godzeenie samples

Routine. Just the right amount. I always try to time when I can eat so I have enough energy to get through my classes. Working split shifts makes it hard. I know when I teach a six hour shift in the afternoon with quick breaks I don’t have time to eat anything. The morning shift…

Then:Now I loaned out my voice to a crumbling city and prepared kielbasa for the magic road to childhood. Along the way I found pecans in the irrigation ditch. I sold goldfish to teddybears. It isn’t easy to outlift the dust or outshift the universe. The nightbridge carries one-half the city and my soul is…

Ice Age Debris yawning into eldervisions the priests honeyed their veins and hung their passions behind the cough on the snowed-out television. they nailed opposable thumbs on their wall to indicate their degree of passion and spray painted roses on the table. one day their folds of Jesusflesh sprung a leak. On the first day,…

In Another Post-Communist Hotel the moon is a grenade in the Polish landscapesetting against the coal-smudged windowsone toilet and one shower for twenty minersthe truth is something that is re-castan orphic revolution in the grayed-out buildings and boot-smeared shitto become human is a continual inter-subjective projectart is non-instrumental communication in the darknesssarcasm may be a…

I am ready for a break. Very ready. Walking through one of the world’s ugliest train stations four times a day is taking a toll. Worn out for sure. I am going to Portadown a week from Sunday for Christmas. Ah to hear English. Clean air. Green. Irish sausages. Butter. Bread. Counting down the days.…

Expansions in the effects of grief memory was worthdoing over to arrive again in scattered kingdoms in the nameless book ofentwinementpronouns outnumber us&the heartis helixed can you troubleyourself enough to feelyour self expanding?

Did a lot of reading and re-connecting and writing. Read some of Tost’s Complex Sleep, Theodore Enslin’s Then, And Now, and Susan Steward’s Poetry and the Fate of the Senses. God I miss reading and thinking. Only teaching for four hours on a Friday is helping me recover. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is…

Lust In the sun the body bakesin extreme heatleftoverbonesare wrappedin tinfoiland disposedin the properreceptacle

Water Circles The Eyes in the myopic arrivalof endtime thought beganin the soulless desert looking for lightbeneathrocks

new direction for my manuscript. cleaning it up. finding my feet. forced language in previous versions felt forced. yes. the other versions were false starts. All new now. Here is the rough draft of the beginning: Because It Was Corporeal They Did It With Marvelous Sublimity our minds were not so much closed as unready…

the new manuscript in process is now called Prodigal Drift rather than Memory Swerve. I am tightening it before moving on. Or actually I tighten it as I move. Clear out the space. Shed some light. Re-shuffle and re-organise and then get lost in the sweet chaos of language. I need both tendencies while writing…

check out the poemfilms Rabbit light movies

I am enjoying Alice Blue Review

I woke up this morning at 6 am feeling the rut. A lot of teaching and little time or energy for reflection. I drank my white tea with honey. I spread some yellow paste on my Polish bread but the bread had hardened and it stuck to the roof my mouth. I walked out my…

memory is tricky. geting wrapped up in the moment can be both good and dangerous. I have been re-reading my poetry manuscripts Hermit Kingdom and Godzeenie. I feel quite good about Godzeenie now that I have about five months distance from the manuscript. I need to send it out to publishers. I think part of…

memory— —pulled up—like dandelions— fluffed and blown— memory —dead tree floating on a mountainof water— life does not beginauspicious

a german football song on the train from regensberg :-)

25 hours on trains this weekend but it was fab. Went to Prague and had a good night on the town hanging with Zofia and Andrew. Then we went to Regensberg in Bavaria on Saturday. It was my first time in Germany and it was quite a contrast to Poland and Czech Republic. Everything was…

Things are different this time in the industrial city of Katowice. Slowly I am making some social contacts. But still no face to face contact with artists and writers. The internet has been a life saver. I went to a Halloween party last night at a local pub and it wasn’t too bad. It was…

“pain and patience in the annealed life/ preceding harvest” (Theodore Enslin) by what cracked chimney does the would-be mercyescape in the Polish nightscape? pouring or pouredendlessly away, it was as yet caught betweenthe lit and unlit, ball of sandpaper, hewn at the edge of it throated soul wanting verge as yet to go elsewhereor no-where

“. . . thought is a violent, cataclysmic operation, of which sweat is the most benign symptom” (Roland Barthes) shaven priest are supposedto be more temporal like clouds- as the say– or saidfeedon mountains, god-turned endlesshover who dwells– or dwelledelsewhere mountain fish– fresh– strangers in the headlights, eyeslow’ed better as yetnot to be seen

from Memory Swerve gravewrangled in the night’srites embalmedhead dreamtimmunity held-oncatch whateverwas caught had been singingnot enough on punativewings local football team scribbled on Polishrocks thin linesnodding out returned lagg’d humm’d and drawnmade it a roadmade it a windflaghad it nowhere boundloose unanswered shout of ships blue back – – blueloose occupied in the descent orbiting…

Verb patterns help to convincemake payencourage finishing

The word passion derives from the Greek for “suffering.”

a new project with gnostic undertones. And sound is a priority again. Right now it’s called Memory Swerve. Here’s a small sample: The question is: is there lifebefore death alwaysa tightropebetweeninnocence & rapture knowing throughnegation it wasor could beseenwiththe departingtrainor suspended with the blow-awaywhistle nighttracks washedin breathmicyonder tumbled out tumbling as from lightnotes hostage strings…

in the classroom teaching ESL 34 hours a week. Which means a lot more hours with grading and prep etc. Also 7 days a week. Can’t think or do anything else for a while. but I should find a groove soon

I am in my new flat in Katowice. It is nice and clean. I also got internet yesterday. I am working for a friendly and professional school. Fingers crossed for a good ride this year.

New issue of word for / word with some interesting visual poems and some poems from my manuscript Godzeenie. Check it out: word for /word

British accents looped me back to childhood————————————————————————- effulgent push of the wheel————————————————————————entrance and exit cannot be differentiated ————————————————————————i read as if I’ve readnothing———————————————————————— what you’ve stollen from methere’s no point in taking ————————————————————————- the beginning of wisdomis loveofwisdom ————————————————————————- bowtoyrpost-poned corpse————————————————————————— we are childrenwho playon high balconies——————————————————————————– sunshoes&moonpants—————————————————————————–the centeris everyoneand no one ——————————————————————————–false unitycripplesthe imagination…

we want what we can’thaveand thenwe wantsome more how to knowwhat isinsideandoutside the cave? authentic and sincerein the dingyrubbish-filledstreets and splatteredtoilets or the wonderfully satisfactory voodo uproars droolingbones with a groan yeseven the earthhas orgasms lying in the metro slumped against eggcartoons what is the point of livingexcept to haveno fixed point the only way…

“ultimately the greatest source of emotional power in art lies not in any particular subject matter, however passionate, however universal. It lies in form.” (Susan Sontag) both religious vocation and crime lead to the cell. the cell is singular. but without the cell there is no body . . . what is inner style? style…

“to dream is not to dream/ if waking up is never finished.” (Ed Roberson) To replace waking with realisation? had mild panics today. loud morning rush in my hotel. two toilets and one showerfor over twenty people. crowds of faceless nameless people in the centre. stale golabki at the Milky Bar. So many bad memories…

I’ve tried integrating myselfinto the blond barbie cultureand it’s sucking me dry to become human is a continualinter-subjectiveproject the truth is something that is told notsomething that is known what the public wantsis the image ofpassion not passionitself art isnon-instrumentalcommunicationin the darkness sarcasm may bea condition of truth

I am leaning toward living and teaching in Krakow. I have another interview tomorrow morning. It seems like a very good school. Good feedback from a former teacher that worked there for a few years. And very friendly director. Yeah . . . things could come together . . . fingers crossed

so I finished two teaching contracts in Poland. The second contract was only for three months in Bielsko to see if we both wanted to continue. So here is the big news. My contract for the next school year was made “null and void” not because I am a bad teacher or misbehaved but BECAUSE…

two good shows. Monday we saw Kevin Devine and last night we saw And You Will Know Them by the Trail of Dead. My ears are still ringing from that show. I liked kevin Devine a lot more than Trail of Dead, but both shows were good. It feels so good to see live music…

Just chillin in the living room of the hostel. They have wireless so I am using my laptop. Feels great. YEAH. Internet. Went to British Library yesterday. Amazing. Love the old books. Also picked up an old copy of Milton’s Paradise Lost (printed in 1801). Inside the old book there are newspaper clippings from some…

a lot of walking. typing on an indian keyboard. hard to type. heading to oxford street and charing cross for the used bookshops. dali exhibition on friday at the tate with some surrealism and film as well . . . London is crazy cool . . . my nose is a bit rough though .…

how not to lose my capacity to be surprised???? It’s work damn hard work

Some very interesting essays in the new Octopus magazine. I am looking forward to reading: 1)Gabriel Gudding’s: “On Kindness and Hipness as They Relate to Cultural Production” 2) Dean Gorman’s “You Were Like Skyscrapers Veering Away: My First Time with Ted Berrigan’s Sonnets” 3) Noah Eli Gordon’s “Written and Rewritten to Order: The Gift of…

End of my teaching day and I feel a little better than usual. I see a bit of light. It’s almost the end of July and then a nice holiday in London. Tomorrow is the hump. Wednesday. Intensive teaching of ceo/directors at a local company and intesive three hour English class in the evening and…

Some nice scary shit. LOVE IT!!! download or stream the remix at: GLOSSOLALIA Just click the “Katowice” link on the right. THANK YOU BRIAN HOWE!!!!

I used to live in Zory with a 50 something year old Polish lady named Aniella Vogel. Not a good experience. Here is a view from my window:

New issue of Past Simple is now online. Some poems from my manuscript Godzeenie (god of hours). The manuscript considers time/moments/hours and place. Each poem is titled according to the hour of composition. Place is also important. The manuscript is almost complete. I wrote it during the last nine months in Poland. Communist hotels, a…

It is a dirty day. Spumes and fumes. dust and grit mixed with sweat.

it is!

I am at the burn out stage for living in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language. Some of you who have worked abroad may be familiar with this stage. In both Korea and Poland it went something like this: stage one: 1-3 months. Fascination. An intense interest in the food and culture.…

reconstruction is healthy.

Gotta make it through July. Summer camp with 6-8 year old kids, teaching CEO’s and managers at companies at 7:00 AM in the morning, 3 hours everyday of an intensive English course for adults and there is no textbook, medical English with a dentist etc. etc. etc. It nice’s to have some variety of course.…

Nachtbrot (July 10th, 2006) Nachtbrot for the illusory agreement the lengthy agreement the fragrant agreement exiled under the active heel of the imagination awake under invisible signs and impossible solutions riding that train from noon to night typhoon on the way and sour thunder in the subway herky-jerky apathy from one station to the next…

the last 20 pages of Hermit Kingdom is a sequence. Here is part of the sequence: HERMIT KINGDOM leaving, you leave, leaving the bags shoved into compartments restless legs on concrete geese warping time along the river sijang sijang sijang green cloud erodes the slug the slug slimes the branches branches I can’t keep track…

Shiva Shiva (July 18th 2006) trying to get around the generals of lyricism got my blinker on but don’t know where to turn behind my tired immortal head is a deranged sentence fecund 14 songs and one unsolvable riddle a fat-cheeked policemen all choked-up cause the communists removed themselves and it’s been raining monkeys ever…

(July 17th 2006) Heavily pitted and dragged by the varied failures of the father. Pounding with hammers and chisels at small iron implements. Working an alien camp with unnatural movements and mysterious chants. Face furnished with rugged simplicity. & how to trans- figure the hard kernel of despair? I cannot stand it but go on…

ok ok ok. It’s all ok. I finally wrote yesterday. Before yesterday I hadn’t written for over a month and it was fucking me up. Yesterday was a 12 hour work day. But I wrote. And listened to punk music really loud. and realised what matters. my writing. and love. love matters. love/zest/curiousity. I am…

those too. feel like someone is following me. sometimes. from 2pm-7pm. they leave me alone in the morning.

I hope it goes away. frustrating.

I am writing on my flatmates laptop. He has a big screen. He is hooked up to the internet wirelessly at school. His laptop is not directly connected to the school. So I can write without someone over my shoulder. There is one computer at the school and everyone wants to use it. I must…

I think my notebooks are not working well because it feels more permanent than writing in blog space. But in a pinch some quick scribbles are ok. I like the sound of tapping keys more than the sound of the scratching pen. I am composing more and more first drafts on the computer and less…

Space is becoming more and more vital Three more months without a sanctuary. I negotiated my own flat for September In September I hope to find a physical space. Head space is also vital. What is headspace? Well, too much headspace=headcase. Need to make myself social to avoid becoming a headcase. But too much social=headcase.…

I have accepted the DOS position and i am supposed to sign the contract on Monday. I am a bit worried though. I was just offered a job at a college in Elblag as well (north part of Poland not far from the Baltic Sea). The college would also pay 4000 zl and a free…

This new school in Bielsko has offered me a promotion for next school year as a director of studies. Management position. It would almost double my salary to 4000 zl per month with a free flat. But it would be quite stressful. A lot of work. I am not sure. It would be something different,…

Sticky. Tried to shower with plastic bag. Didn’t work too well since I have to sit in the bathtub. I need a bit more flexibility. But off to the doctors tomorrow and then maybe I can have a proper shower. Bielsko is much better than other places I lived in Poland in terms of .…

check out the new Origin some cool work with connections between Kyoto Japan and the U.S.

returned home from the clinic on Saturday. Feeling very sore. hot little knives near my groin. But I hope by the end of the week the pain will go away. I also hope the hernia is gone for good. It is all a bit of a haze. Morphine. Numbing the lower part of my body.…

minor surgery tomorrow (Friday) at 8am for my hernia. Don’t like hospitals. Not really looking forward to a foreign hospital. But it is very small surgery. Just one night in the hospital. Gonna spend the last of my savings for the surgery. But hernia keeps getting bigger and interferes with beer drinking and sex. Plus…

thirteen days without writing and finally something is slowly coming. Wrapped myself in professionalism only to realise, again, a job is good only if it allows me to live. By live, I mean write and think and dream. In other words lose my mind. A good stream of books words thoughts. Teaching EFL can deaden…

splitting and sparing an inchfor death, there is feverin the surgeon’s coat, you’vemistaken science for the eyeball lopped rhythmns scar the sunset

I have internet at the school and I can use it now and again. It will be especially nice to use the internet on the weekends. I am still getting use to the new teaching gig. I teach all ages and groups, but 15 hours a week teaching the army is quite a different experience.…

new city has more people and is nicer than last one. But still not too good yet. In typical Polish style (other than Krakow) it is dirty and disorganized. So I am back to the old slow smelly internet cafe. I start the new job next Monday. I will know more at that point about…

Panic. survival mode yesterday. School could no longer afford to pay me so I was let go. Living in Communist hotel with little money. So I went nuts at the internet cafe and called and emailed schools in Poland and Spain. I got lucky. A solid school in a much nicer city had also had…

is scheduled for June 5th in Poland then Dublin and green grass and green parks and lollipops and

mind is an accordion, an old squeezebox travel in perpendicular motion of the bellows sounding an entire chord by depressing one key

so I am off to Krakow tomorrow. Maybe see an art gallery. Maybe update my book of kells tattoo. I keep wondering about tefl as a career. How long can I go? how low can i go? Maybe it is possible if i just stop reading all the complaints about low pay on Dave’s ESL.…

I went to a really bad internet cafe two days in a row. Now I finally found a nice one. Fast internet. I can read the screen. And at least today it is not full of screaming teenage boys playing fighting games. Just gotta hit the cafe at the right time. The other internet cafe…

I attended a high school as a white minority I am not a white minority I am a middle class American I am not a middle class American I am not a protestant from Northern Ireland I am a protestant from Northern Ireland my parents were poor immigrants my parents are not poor immigrants I…

I am now in the Diamond hotel. Hotel Diament. It is quite interesting. Got just a bit of history last night from a private student. It is used to be a 5 star hotel 30 years ago during communism. Up until the early 90’s it was used almost exclusively by miners working in the local…

Another move tomorrow. Still in Poland. Same job. A hotel tomorrow with no internet. No fridge. So I gotta figure out how to eat since Poland does not serve breakfast. Can I hold out on eating until 12PM? Maybe. And where to eat. Hm . . . will see. Mainly it sucks I will lose…

The long poem continues: 11. Hermit Kingdom bags were emptiedand reified and leftbe-hind in my Sunday suitin bedwith Jeom-Sook animalplanet on the tellymainly excited during slide-down animal tilt side-ways &ver-ticalblow-jobwithswallowbitemy littletit in-spire trans-pire em-pire can’tgetout of bedexceptto eat Koreanpizzawith hot sauce 12. In the Beginning first birth has no gracebut a whelpingat the edgeof abysssupreme…

I waited so so long for internet. It’s paid up till November but gotta get out of this room and this flat. A hotel soon. Sanity overrides money again.

awk·ward 1 obsolete : PERVERSE the old Polish lady has crossed the line one too many times she swung open my door without a knock just as I was in the thick of it and about to . . . she said “no no no” she heard sex and came to stop it! last straw:…

The main issue is life and how to live it. I think one of my biggest enemies is boredom. I need mental stimulation. I need a good bookshop. There is one in Krakow. So either I move to an English speaking country or find a good bookshop in Poland with a strong contemporary poetry selection…

Got some broken memories of someone’s lost legs on the concrete. I guess I was six. So it is partial. A bomb. Somewhere. A blue van and a man screaming. Working with Wonderland and out came the lost legs: 10. Agitprop for a splitsecondin-sensed&smoke-choked you arelegson gravel blood-stumped and cherryred ployto sell the soul and…

I have been revising like crazy for the past two weeks. Finally today I also have additions. I have to subtract before I can add. But the danger is substracting too much. But it isn’t really a danger. What’s dangerous is not writing and thinking at all. I wish I could get blogger to format…

(August 1st 2006) 1. HERMIT KINGDON two bags to my namea twitchy eyeand sour stomach narrowing down my life gettingthe skinny no room for the gauntand unladenand extremelysick fog rolling over stanzas and false cities leaving behind Korea for Polandfor no earthly reasonnot dispossessedof judgement but starting out for another kingdom 2. HOPE here on…

it is now over with Ela. It is hard to let go of a good friend. Depressed. But I will rise again.

I am feeling good about Poland overall. I might stay in Europe. I must make a big decision quite soon. My alien card for America will expire in two years. Then if I don’t return to America the door shuts. I can still visit with my UK passport though. Also, heading into new territory. Breaking…

The most ambitous cross cultural poetics project on the face of the planet. Issue 3 of Fascicle is now up and running. Check it out: Fascicle Just finished reading the poets from Taiwan section. Fascinating interviews, poems, and multimedia work from contemporary innnovative poets from Taiwan: Fascicle I also have a collaboration with fellow Lucifer…

I am writing a sequence to finish Wonderland. Here are a few sections (still rough). The formating is all left justified on blogger so the spatial concerns are all off. Some of this last section of Wonderland was written in Korea but most is happening right now looking back at the manuscript and its concerns.…