I used to live in Zory with a 50 something year old Polish lady named Aniella Vogel. Not a good experience. Here is a view from my window:

New issue of Past Simple is now online. Some poems from my manuscript Godzeenie (god of hours). The manuscript considers time/moments/hours and place. Each poem is titled according to the hour of composition. Place is also important. The manuscript is almost complete. I wrote it during the last nine months in Poland. Communist hotels, a…

It is a dirty day. Spumes and fumes. dust and grit mixed with sweat.

it is!

I am at the burn out stage for living in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language. Some of you who have worked abroad may be familiar with this stage. In both Korea and Poland it went something like this: stage one: 1-3 months. Fascination. An intense interest in the food and culture.…

reconstruction is healthy.

Gotta make it through July. Summer camp with 6-8 year old kids, teaching CEO’s and managers at companies at 7:00 AM in the morning, 3 hours everyday of an intensive English course for adults and there is no textbook, medical English with a dentist etc. etc. etc. It nice’s to have some variety of course.…

Nachtbrot (July 10th, 2006) Nachtbrot for the illusory agreement the lengthy agreement the fragrant agreement exiled under the active heel of the imagination awake under invisible signs and impossible solutions riding that train from noon to night typhoon on the way and sour thunder in the subway herky-jerky apathy from one station to the next…

the last 20 pages of Hermit Kingdom is a sequence. Here is part of the sequence: HERMIT KINGDOM leaving, you leave, leaving the bags shoved into compartments restless legs on concrete geese warping time along the river sijang sijang sijang green cloud erodes the slug the slug slimes the branches branches I can’t keep track…

Shiva Shiva (July 18th 2006) trying to get around the generals of lyricism got my blinker on but don’t know where to turn behind my tired immortal head is a deranged sentence fecund 14 songs and one unsolvable riddle a fat-cheeked policemen all choked-up cause the communists removed themselves and it’s been raining monkeys ever…

(July 17th 2006) Heavily pitted and dragged by the varied failures of the father. Pounding with hammers and chisels at small iron implements. Working an alien camp with unnatural movements and mysterious chants. Face furnished with rugged simplicity. & how to trans- figure the hard kernel of despair? I cannot stand it but go on…

ok ok ok. It’s all ok. I finally wrote yesterday. Before yesterday I hadn’t written for over a month and it was fucking me up. Yesterday was a 12 hour work day. But I wrote. And listened to punk music really loud. and realised what matters. my writing. and love. love matters. love/zest/curiousity. I am…

those too. feel like someone is following me. sometimes. from 2pm-7pm. they leave me alone in the morning.

I hope it goes away. frustrating.

I am writing on my flatmates laptop. He has a big screen. He is hooked up to the internet wirelessly at school. His laptop is not directly connected to the school. So I can write without someone over my shoulder. There is one computer at the school and everyone wants to use it. I must…

I think my notebooks are not working well because it feels more permanent than writing in blog space. But in a pinch some quick scribbles are ok. I like the sound of tapping keys more than the sound of the scratching pen. I am composing more and more first drafts on the computer and less…

Space is becoming more and more vital Three more months without a sanctuary. I negotiated my own flat for September In September I hope to find a physical space. Head space is also vital. What is headspace? Well, too much headspace=headcase. Need to make myself social to avoid becoming a headcase. But too much social=headcase.…

I have accepted the DOS position and i am supposed to sign the contract on Monday. I am a bit worried though. I was just offered a job at a college in Elblag as well (north part of Poland not far from the Baltic Sea). The college would also pay 4000 zl and a free…

This new school in Bielsko has offered me a promotion for next school year as a director of studies. Management position. It would almost double my salary to 4000 zl per month with a free flat. But it would be quite stressful. A lot of work. I am not sure. It would be something different,…

Sticky. Tried to shower with plastic bag. Didn’t work too well since I have to sit in the bathtub. I need a bit more flexibility. But off to the doctors tomorrow and then maybe I can have a proper shower. Bielsko is much better than other places I lived in Poland in terms of .…

check out the new Origin some cool work with connections between Kyoto Japan and the U.S.

returned home from the clinic on Saturday. Feeling very sore. hot little knives near my groin. But I hope by the end of the week the pain will go away. I also hope the hernia is gone for good. It is all a bit of a haze. Morphine. Numbing the lower part of my body.…

minor surgery tomorrow (Friday) at 8am for my hernia. Don’t like hospitals. Not really looking forward to a foreign hospital. But it is very small surgery. Just one night in the hospital. Gonna spend the last of my savings for the surgery. But hernia keeps getting bigger and interferes with beer drinking and sex. Plus…

thirteen days without writing and finally something is slowly coming. Wrapped myself in professionalism only to realise, again, a job is good only if it allows me to live. By live, I mean write and think and dream. In other words lose my mind. A good stream of books words thoughts. Teaching EFL can deaden…

splitting and sparing an inchfor death, there is feverin the surgeon’s coat, you’vemistaken science for the eyeball lopped rhythmns scar the sunset

I have internet at the school and I can use it now and again. It will be especially nice to use the internet on the weekends. I am still getting use to the new teaching gig. I teach all ages and groups, but 15 hours a week teaching the army is quite a different experience.…

new city has more people and is nicer than last one. But still not too good yet. In typical Polish style (other than Krakow) it is dirty and disorganized. So I am back to the old slow smelly internet cafe. I start the new job next Monday. I will know more at that point about…

Panic. survival mode yesterday. School could no longer afford to pay me so I was let go. Living in Communist hotel with little money. So I went nuts at the internet cafe and called and emailed schools in Poland and Spain. I got lucky. A solid school in a much nicer city had also had…

is scheduled for June 5th in Poland then Dublin and green grass and green parks and lollipops and

mind is an accordion, an old squeezebox travel in perpendicular motion of the bellows sounding an entire chord by depressing one key

so I am off to Krakow tomorrow. Maybe see an art gallery. Maybe update my book of kells tattoo. I keep wondering about tefl as a career. How long can I go? how low can i go? Maybe it is possible if i just stop reading all the complaints about low pay on Dave’s ESL.…

I went to a really bad internet cafe two days in a row. Now I finally found a nice one. Fast internet. I can read the screen. And at least today it is not full of screaming teenage boys playing fighting games. Just gotta hit the cafe at the right time. The other internet cafe…

I attended a high school as a white minority I am not a white minority I am a middle class American I am not a middle class American I am not a protestant from Northern Ireland I am a protestant from Northern Ireland my parents were poor immigrants my parents are not poor immigrants I…

I am now in the Diamond hotel. Hotel Diament. It is quite interesting. Got just a bit of history last night from a private student. It is used to be a 5 star hotel 30 years ago during communism. Up until the early 90’s it was used almost exclusively by miners working in the local…

Another move tomorrow. Still in Poland. Same job. A hotel tomorrow with no internet. No fridge. So I gotta figure out how to eat since Poland does not serve breakfast. Can I hold out on eating until 12PM? Maybe. And where to eat. Hm . . . will see. Mainly it sucks I will lose…

The long poem continues: 11. Hermit Kingdom bags were emptiedand reified and leftbe-hind in my Sunday suitin bedwith Jeom-Sook animalplanet on the tellymainly excited during slide-down animal tilt side-ways &ver-ticalblow-jobwithswallowbitemy littletit in-spire trans-pire em-pire can’tgetout of bedexceptto eat Koreanpizzawith hot sauce 12. In the Beginning first birth has no gracebut a whelpingat the edgeof abysssupreme…

I waited so so long for internet. It’s paid up till November but gotta get out of this room and this flat. A hotel soon. Sanity overrides money again.

awk·ward 1 obsolete : PERVERSE the old Polish lady has crossed the line one too many times she swung open my door without a knock just as I was in the thick of it and about to . . . she said “no no no” she heard sex and came to stop it! last straw:…

The main issue is life and how to live it. I think one of my biggest enemies is boredom. I need mental stimulation. I need a good bookshop. There is one in Krakow. So either I move to an English speaking country or find a good bookshop in Poland with a strong contemporary poetry selection…

Got some broken memories of someone’s lost legs on the concrete. I guess I was six. So it is partial. A bomb. Somewhere. A blue van and a man screaming. Working with Wonderland and out came the lost legs: 10. Agitprop for a splitsecondin-sensed&smoke-choked you arelegson gravel blood-stumped and cherryred ployto sell the soul and…

I have been revising like crazy for the past two weeks. Finally today I also have additions. I have to subtract before I can add. But the danger is substracting too much. But it isn’t really a danger. What’s dangerous is not writing and thinking at all. I wish I could get blogger to format…

(August 1st 2006) 1. HERMIT KINGDON two bags to my namea twitchy eyeand sour stomach narrowing down my life gettingthe skinny no room for the gauntand unladenand extremelysick fog rolling over stanzas and false cities leaving behind Korea for Polandfor no earthly reasonnot dispossessedof judgement but starting out for another kingdom 2. HOPE here on…

it is now over with Ela. It is hard to let go of a good friend. Depressed. But I will rise again.

I am feeling good about Poland overall. I might stay in Europe. I must make a big decision quite soon. My alien card for America will expire in two years. Then if I don’t return to America the door shuts. I can still visit with my UK passport though. Also, heading into new territory. Breaking…

The most ambitous cross cultural poetics project on the face of the planet. Issue 3 of Fascicle is now up and running. Check it out: Fascicle Just finished reading the poets from Taiwan section. Fascinating interviews, poems, and multimedia work from contemporary innnovative poets from Taiwan: Fascicle I also have a collaboration with fellow Lucifer…

I am writing a sequence to finish Wonderland. Here are a few sections (still rough). The formating is all left justified on blogger so the spatial concerns are all off. Some of this last section of Wonderland was written in Korea but most is happening right now looking back at the manuscript and its concerns.…

goddamn it. I am tired of living in a 50 year old lady’s flat and getting by on $400 a month. It could be much much much worse though. An interview with a school in Oklahoma city tomorrow. Hm . . .

I’m always leaving and can’t remember what I left. I sometimes wish I took a different road. But this is the road I am currently on. So be it. I am finishing the manuscript I wrote in Korea called Wonderland. I re-looked at it today and found a way back into a manuscript. I can’t…

13:59 Katowice Train Station Rivers of piss collect at cafes. Watch where you walk. I eat what locals eat but refuse to tie my shoelaces. Tired smile with auburn beard. Pre-Gothic Post-Celtic wanderlust. Fur coated ladies strut past frozen men in sleeping bags reaching out for a light. A kiss for some short love. There’s…

Don’t know that money is so evil when you don’t have it. Once you have too much of it it might get a tad evil. How about two more abstractions: money and freedom. Too much money and you’re bound to lose some freedom. But not enough money and you’ve lost as well. Money ain’t evil.…

15:44 In Poland they call unfiltered coffee Turkish. I don’t know how long this has been going on. My clothes are drying on a white rack by my window in Block 7A. I’m in a small cramped room in New Europe. A concrete grave in a maze of flats. These flats are my patrons. I’ve…

Havel gave some good speeches near this spot to the good citizens of Prague. This is the site of revolution. Re volition.

nice wee town in Bohemia

A Russian race car driver’s grave in Bohemia

so I have a nice wee hernia. I went to the Polish emergency room last night. It’s a bit painful but not terrible. I need a small operation next week. Trying to figure out if the British government can cover it since I don’t have Polish health insurance. My boss has me working under the…

This is a church in Sedlec (a little village outside Prague). The story is a knight went to the holy land during the Crusades and returned with some holy dirt. He sprinkled it outside the church. It became prime real estate for the departed. Big gold coins if you want a place in the holy…

I am using my moleskin again and it feels good. I find it difficult to write when I can’t settle my mind about the future. I applied to a lot of independent schools in the U.S., but then I realized it is going to very difficult. Logistics wise it is hard to survive in America…

I have been listening to Chad Helder’s cd of queer horror. It is an amazing performance of poetry and short stories. The ambient sounds, flashes of insight, and unforgettable images make this cd a must for the brainpan. There is derelict energy here. Imagine Jack Kerouac reading queer horror with ambient music. It’s a purging.…

I can’t seem to shake the feeling I should have a solid career by now. I am heading into my 33rd year and just living from week to week in terms of money, savings etc. I fretted this all week and spent a lot of hours on the internet looking for secure jobs for a…

here are the pictures from my trip to Slovakia for Christmas: Poland Webpage

New website for Poland. Pics, video, audio, and a poetry podcast from my ms Godzeenie. Click Poland website link on the right. Also, a website with pics and vids from South Korea and Northern Ireland. Click South Korea and Ireland link on the right.

The poets in North Carolina are alive and busy. Energy abounds. Here is a great video of a reading at the Nightlight in Chapel Hill. Amy White did a great job with the editing. A really engaging video. Nightlight Reading

A very interesting poetry e-book and performance. Check out the queer horror album and the e-book at: Queer Horror I will report back with a mini review soon.

Only a few weeks till Christmas. Need to figure out how to get to the Slovak mountains. The mountains in Slovakia are supposed to be real nice. Going to the Tatras. Hope it is nice and icy.

can’t get any sleep. It’s a friday night (or early Sat morning) in Poland. A boring uneventful night. I am typing this at a friend’s house in Poland. I am typing in the dark. Thinking a lot lately. Maybe it’s time to take the voyage home. Problem is: I don’t know where that is anymore.…

So I ran out of Lamictin and Zoloft in Korea and some doctor (via two translators) put me on Prozac. Not a good reaction. Wrong drug. nearly packed it all in. So I stoped them altogether. I was on Lamictin and Zoloft for one year. Now I finally feel like I am climbing out of…

Zory is an old Polish town. Nice old streets. The people are very friendly. I found a really nice pub called Spinoza and it is perfect. Abstract murals on the walls. All brick inside with arches. Underground in the cellar. A really good feel. Just need to make a few friends to drink with. Still…

No more Katowice. I am in the small town of Zory. The 50 year old lady/landlord is super cool. A nice room. A shelf in the fridge for my food. There is another Polish lodger that works at the hospital. Both the other lodger and the landlady don’t speak any English. Only Polish and Russian.…

I didn’t realize how much I appreciate Thanksgiving. For a long time I disowned it because most of my relatives were in Ireland. But then I created some wonderful memories with my ex-wife Tiffany and her friend Missy. Now I am missing them terribly today. A rough week so far. No human contact for a…

it always sneeks up. Surreal again in another country where I don’t speak the language. Here are some recent poems from Godzeenie (always mutating/in-progress). 22:38 Godzeeniewon’t eat sins, can’t atonefor what you don’t have, labia majora, give us a rolling egg, intothe sun-clotted bladder, we’reall going to die, too latefor the shrunken urethra, ovemmedula, fuckedass…

Gonna keep this blog rolling. Keep the voices and lose my self. That’s what I want from art and life. To lose myself. To become less self-consciousness. To experience experience. I’m in Poland. Recently finished with Korea (but Korea will never be finished with me). I’m seeing parts of the world I never thought I…

My mind needs moving. Sometimes this includes moving my feet. I am floating in shit. Time to put on the goggles. FUCK THE PASSIONLESS LIFE! FUCK KATOWICE! FUCK BORING TEACHING ROUTINES! Full-tilt again. Mr. nice-guy gets flattened. I refuse to flatten!

Got a gig in Zory. Zory is a little town. I have free housing with a 50 year old Polish woman. But they assure me she is a young 50. I will have freedom to design and create. No more Callan for 32 hours a week. Two more weeks in the armpit of Poland.

The formating is way off. Much different poems in person. 12:20 (For Zofia) “The Bright tongue of the two / languages / dance in the one light” (Robert Duncan) I could summon cosmic gosip, unskin the monkey with its un- relenting eyes, it is never simple, these passages, these pro- miscious wanders with gravel in…

Candles galore in the graveyards

Callan works but so does McDonalds!!!

on the rebound. I’m reading between the lines. Back to the voices. Damn I missed the voices! No more self-indulgent thoughts of ending it. Back to my head against the wall! Fuck suicide!

I’ve got to remember why I am here. I mean, not on the earth. There’s no reason for that. It just is. But I am in Poland to write a manuscript. But I need a job that’s a little interesting to feed my writing. I return home almost always mentally drained every night. I mean,…

I’m finding an exit outta katowice. Two interviews on Friday. One in small town called Zory and one in Krakow. Hope I can make it to both interviews. Gonna be a crazy Friday but I gotta get outta this shitty city. And fuck Callan!!! So tired of teaching stage one. Where is my fucking mind????

The oven :-(

I got more pictures and much more recent versions of poems from Godzeenie. Just got to get internet in my flat and then I will post them. It helps to put them out in the world somewhere. Just imagining an audience (however small) helps me to revise.

I can’t stand Katowice. I went to Krakow this weekend and its the place for me. I sent out a few apps for schools and might have an interview in two weeks. Gotta get out of this very very ugly city. Keep steppin in dog shit. Gotta walk fast after work and look like I…

Just moved from Rybnik to Katowice. I have an amazing flat. The nicest place I have ever lived in any country. But no internet so I am typing this in a smelly train station. So I am back in a city. More to do. I’m also connected via rail to other cities in Poland and…

Heading to Czech Republic in a few minutes. Great little village on the border named Owsiszcze. Hanging with a real cool gal named Ela and her friends Aga and Iwona. Moving to Katowice tomorrow which is a medium sized city. Jazz club. Nice flat. My 4th flat in POLAND IN four weeks. Amazing. But I…

The paint is very wet on these. I’m always in progress. These poems will change and mutate no doubt. 15:53 Old horse with new bucket, Hermes in a real duel with Apollo, I’m gaining weight, strip the scales, got no bal-ance, immense rage & fleet on foot, I strap on my Zbigniew Herbert, let the…

I am starting to hit my stride with the new ms. It’s called Godzeenie. Thanks to the help of a nice Polish girl (and fellow artist) I discovered some interesting things about the word: Godzeenie is a play on the Polish ‘godzina’ which means hour. So the poems are titled according to the time when…

Finally moved into a new flat and got my very own internet connection. YIPPIE. A little slow but it works. Poland is fascinating. Lots to see. I am hoping to visit Krakow and Prague in the next few weeks. Meanwhile work is hectic, but I am in Poland so I’ll deal. I am waiting for…

made it to poland. so far it’s a tad hectic trying to learn the new teaching method after getting used to teaching uni. The method I am learning is called Callan. Not sure what I think about it yet. I don’t have internet access yet. Gotta use internet cafes. But I will move this weekend…